Some days it is really difficult to stay focused on the positive. My mind slowly succumbs to its past thought patterns and I let all the negativity weigh me down. I incessantly remind myself to look for the positive. Thus far this week my pessimistic feelings have come from my lack of will power against brownies, my over reactive stomach, and the incredible metabolism & will power of some individuals.
I'll start with the negatives (skip over this couple paragraphs if you don't want to hear my gripes). Last week I did so well on my own with a massive salad bar/ healthy food at my disposal. This week I'm back at home and was immediately faced with chips and candy that was brought into my house while I was gone. Immediately following that my dad came to help replace a door in our home and I bought and made brownies for him and the kids for the afternoon. Unfortunately, he was in a hurry and left without eating any and an entire pan of wonderful chocolate goodness sat on my counter, taunting me.
Yesterday I made a date with a friend to go running (accountability/ workout buddies are awesome motivators). I was not super motivated but knew that she was waiting for me so I quickly ate half a veggie wrap before headed on our run. I made the extra effort to run down to our meeting point and could immediately tell them my stomach was not too happy with my decision of a pre-run mini meal. By the time I met up with my running buddy and started running I knew that it wasn't going to be pretty. I pushed through and achieved a good 2 miles jog but then had to walk/ jog for the rest of it. This put me in a sad funk knowing that I have a 10K coming up this Saturday and I know my body can handle it but not so sure that my stomach will allow it! I feel like having a full blown toddler tantrum when I've worked so hard, built a body that can run, lunge, squat, push-up, lift weights, etc. but is limited by my internal organs and their incessant need to create havoc! Okay, I feel a little better now...
The final nuisance to my week has been listening to others complain (as I am currently doing :P ) about their struggles when they seem to be able to near effortlessly drop a couple pounds. Here I am working out for at least an hour a day, counting calories and weight watcher points. These wonderful people "watch" what they eat (eyeball it) and go for a run and BOOM, two pounds gone...grrr.... Why don't I have a super metabolic rate? How to I get some of that amazing will power to say no to sweets and salty snacks?
Venting is over, now for the positive spin! I did NOT eat the entire pan of brownies and I DID throw away most of the chips and junk food that was anticipating my return home. I didn't let my stomach totally turn my day upside down, I ran two miles and walked almost four miles... WAY better than just sitting on the couch AND I achieved 20,000 steps yesterday! Those wonderful people with amazing metabolisms are going through their own struggles and I can't be mad or aggravated by them. I know that my will power muscle has grown and continues to get stronger every time I throw out bad food or decide to keep walking, even if I can't run. Every time I sign up for another run or attend another class, make another healthy meal or snack I am making a better me. I am getting there, slowly but surely. This transformation is a marathon, not a sprint and I have to take a deep breath and remind myself of how far I've come. There will always be obstacles but it's how you manage and learn from them that mold you into a better person. Trust the process!
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