Rediscovering Love

Love: an intense feeling of deep affection (Webster, 2016)

In the hustle and bustle of life, the past decade or so have been a LOT about survival. Not third world country survival but coping with homework (my own, my students, and my kids'), housework, bills, kids, work, travel, etc.  Most people would not consider these daily living items survival situations however, when you struggle with depression and anxiety, everything can be a little more challenging. Having had some of the daily stresses reduced and a lot of thinking time, the greatest task I need to tackle is to rediscover love of myself. 

As a mom, most other moms can relate that all love is devoted to your children and spouse. We typically don't think about how we've treated ourselves. Example, if I make a mistake I should learn from it, brush it off and move on. Instead, I get very upset at myself and tell myself things like, "You never do anything right... you're so stupid!" I would NEVER say that to someone nor let my kids say that to someone or about themselves, so why is it okay that I'm doing that to myself? Why is that voice in my head not encouraging and positive? I believe that hurtful internal voice has been a large source of my difficulties over the past few years.

So what am I going to do about it? I know it won't be an overnight change. Since it's been an ugly habit for quite awhile, I'm sure it will take some time to retrain my brain. I'm starting slow, this week I found my way back into a spin class and instantly felt a sense of excitement and comfort from being back at something I enjoy. Having that same feeling as I went to two more spin classes this week, it started my wheels turning (literally and figuratively) about what other things do I equally enjoy?

Loving myself is not just about finding the things I enjoy doing. I can't spend my days riding bike and reading books... although that does sound like fun! I'm hoping to help silence the negative Katie by discovering more about myself. I don't have many answers yet, my mind is sore from reading through different questionnaires and articles on how to know yourself better. I'll keep you updated, in case you are interested in discovering your own self. 

Here's one link to get you started!  26 Questions To Help You Know Yourself Better