Honesty

It all comes down to being honest with myself.

After trying to push myself a little hard to get back on track after vacation, I hurt my IT band. Note to self: Don't attend spin class on Friday afternoon, Chisel Saturday morning and then try to run 13 miles. On the positive side, I "got" to go to the doctor and was forced to take a few days off from working out as well as called skinny & fit by the doctor. The downside was trying to stick to a more strict diet to counter the resting days. It was pretty much impossible with a visiting friend and too many late nights of chatting, eating, and drinking. (I still love you Sarah).

This week my goal is honesty. I haven't been honest with myself and my diet. I know I can workout but my self control around food is out of hand. I will write down and measure EVERYTHING that goes into my mouth! I will use my online weight watchers AND myfitnesspal to help me keep track of calories and points! I will go to the Tuesday WW meeting since I have avoided facing a close to ten pound jump since the last weigh in, yes nearly ten pounds have found their way back onto my body. I know that there are some hormonal things going on in my body that may have some play in the weight gain but, I have to be honest with myself, I'm not truthfully recording my food.

I know that this week is going to be a bit more stressful, I need to get a lot of work done in the classroom, family pictures and running to prepare for the half marathon on Saturday. I just have to remind myself that I CAN do this, I can maintain self control despite an increase in life stress. I love all aspects of my life; job, family, friends and am working on 'self. I can't hide from my problems and will face them all head on with new enthusiasm. I am grateful for the opportunities I will face allowing me to grow as a person (spiritually & emotionally, not physically, I hope).  ;)

** Update** I forgot to add that I was also blessed enough to be added to a group of great women trying to lose weight and hold each other accountable. Now I'm also asked to share my daily food journal, exercise and gratitude with this group! Below I have a pictures that I shared today of what I ate (the good and bad) and a picture of me planking with two of my kiddos.

Putting myself out there means opening myself up to criticism...

I'll admit it, I like a complement as much as the next person. It definitely makes all my hard work seem worth it and pushes me to try harder. I have discovered, however, that there's a flip side to receiving praise, receiving the cold shoulder and/or criticism. Yes, I have been checking into the gym, sharing this blog, and posting motivational fitness quotes on facebook. I am NOT doing it to brag or to make people feel bad about their lives, my two main purposes are:

1) It makes me get off my butt and go do something knowing that SOMEONE may see it.

2) If it motivates even one person to be active, I feel a sense of accomplishment!

I have felt that the more time goes by and the more days I post my check-ins and quotes, I have found a surprising number of people that are distant and unkind when I see them in person. Some have said things like, "Oh, are you going to put this on fb?" or others who won't even talk to me as if I have nothing new to say (I ALWAYS have something to say and LOVE talking to people)!? It actually really hurts my feelings when others don't seem interested in having a conversation with me. Do they think all I'm going to do is talk about what workout I went to today or how many points my food is worth?!? I have three kids for goodness sake and work with elementary kids all day, I have tons of other exciting things to fill conversation with than myself! I love to chat about family, books, movies, weather, climate change, common core, Obama care, or Norway, to name a few ideas...
I would never try to make someone feel bad or guilty but, if someone wanted advice or motivation, I would be more than willing to share ideas or information.

I will continue to post despite having felt the chill from some cold shoulders and harsh words recently. Why? Because I have also had many friends thank me for my motivation and that's what it's all about for me! It does make me sad if someone thinks I am being annoying, however, it truly empowers me and gives me a sense of purpose knowing that something that I posted encouraged someone to get up and do something that made them healthier, more fit, and happier!

Today I ate within my WW points and I made it to Body Rock aerobic class. My body reminded me that I hadn't done either for two days and will most likely continue to remind me tonight and into tomorrow as my legs ache from numerous squats... but it's worth it! I have 4 pounds until I make my goal #1 and 14 until my ultimate goal! I CAN do this and I WILL do this, for myself, with or without anyone's support!!

Poor Self Esteem

I am having one of those days where my inner voice is my own worst enemy! I've been working on telling my negative self to "be quiet" or "shut up" (I know, get me a straight jacket), today I didn't do as great of a job and just let the voice slip in over and over. It started this morning when my sweet little sunshine of a daughter woke up extra early and as I rocked her back to sleep I talked myself out of going to workout in an hour, since I'd really appreciate the extra sleep more. I did enjoy the extra sleep but immediately scolded myself when I 'officially' woke up for the day for missing my morning class. I continued to beat myself up as I felt tired and sluggish getting ready for work, "You'd have more energy if you would have got up and moving this morning instead of sleeping more!"

The stress I put on myself this morning continued as I navigated my way through the day. I didn't take the time to appreciate my successful math lesson or science discussion and instead focused on how I couldn't quite control the volume of my students as well as I'd hoped (older students are doing Smarter Balance testing in the computer lab next door). In retrospect, the students are super excited about our baby duck that's hatching and we were doing a lot of group activities today plus no one complained to me about hearing us next door. I also had a overly long list of things to accomplish today thus setting myself up for further failure and further negative thoughts.

I thought an iced coffee energy drink would give me the boost I needed to get more things done at work and then head to the gym feeling ready for a great workout. Unfortunately, after consuming said beverage I realized it was worth 5 WW points, leaving me 5 points for supper. So instead of waltzing in, ready to conquer whatever the instructor threw at me, I came in with a chip on my shoulder knowing I had messed up for the umpteenth time today. I was hoping that the workout would eventually life my spirits, as it usually does, but I think that I was in such a slump that no amount of sweat or bicep curls was going to release that tension. It was quite frustrating that I also couldn't focus my attention on feeling the "burn" and instead found my mind wondering to how I wish I could look like so and so or I'll never be able to do that...  I might as well stamp a Negative Nancy sticker on my forehead today (no offense to any of the wonderful Nancys in my life)!

I need to hit my reset button. Reevaluate my day and look for all the positives. Read some motivation quotes, set up a plan for success for tomorrow, and go to bed early! Today was not bad, my attitude was, tomorrow will be terrific!

I am my own worst enemy...

This weekend has been very productive; laundry done, house cleaned, lessons planned, attended Chisel & Step Aerobics, played at the park with the kiddos, and a new blog site started. So I should feel satisfied, right?!? Wrong :(   One of the other "accomplishments" of this weekend was recording my Weight Watcher points and, lo & behold, I went over by quite a few points this weekend. Ugh! It just proves what my WW leader said yesterday, "The points you don't record today find there way onto the scale tomorrow!" I wish there was a magic pill that gave me the same will power that's motivated me to exercise as to say no to snacking, anyone know where I can find it?

Alright, my pity party is over for the day! I'll get up first thing in the morning and head to aerobics class and start the week on the right foot. Tonight I'll plan out what I'm going to eat tomorrow (including my snacks) and stick to it NO MATTER WHAT!! I do find it can be difficult to not want a snack right after working out. I just have to be more mindful and plan my breakfast after my morning workout and supper after any evening workouts. Now to say a little prayer that my mind, stomach, and will power work together...

I also wanted to mention another big decision coming up this week. Lent will be ending on Sunday and I've successfully given up pop. Now I'm struggling with whether to start drinking it again after Easter. My husband says that if I've gone this long without why start again? My mind says that I've wasted many points on coffee and creamer the past 40 days in order to keep up with all the things going on in day to day life, it would be nice to go with zero point diet pop?! Hmm... I put a survey on my blog so if you are reading this and have a minute, I'd love your opinion! :)

Start the week out on the right foot, make healthy choices and be active!