Struggles and New Beginnings

Happy Easter! He has Risen!

Spring time is such a blessing. I love this time of year when we can receive five inches of snow and two days later we're walking around in short sleeves and sandals enjoying the green grass again!

I am trying really hard to focus on positives and not continue on this path of self destruction. I hope the rejuvenating springtime will be my inspiration and motivator. Currently, I struggle with my inner voice and its constant need to see all things negative. It's like a road block in my mind, not allowing me to access my positive voice that can remind me of how I DO have the knowledge, strength and ability to increase my will power, eat healthy, work out wisely, and overcome all current obstacles. 

I have brief reminders of the supportive mindset. Saturday I pushed myself and got up early to go to a 90 minute spin class. Today I went on two longer walks to ensure I met my step goal. Tomorrow I have set up two times to workout, early morning and evening. I started my nutritional counseling and I HAVE to record what I eat and pay attention to food labels; calories, fats, fiber, protein, etc. I will continue to work on asking for more help through prayer and within my support network (and to allow their help). I just pray that I have cracked the door to my more effective self talk and all other efforts will knock down the whole damn door! 

April is going to be my best month in a long time (says my positive voice), good bye March madness!

Honesty

It all comes down to being honest with myself.

After trying to push myself a little hard to get back on track after vacation, I hurt my IT band. Note to self: Don't attend spin class on Friday afternoon, Chisel Saturday morning and then try to run 13 miles. On the positive side, I "got" to go to the doctor and was forced to take a few days off from working out as well as called skinny & fit by the doctor. The downside was trying to stick to a more strict diet to counter the resting days. It was pretty much impossible with a visiting friend and too many late nights of chatting, eating, and drinking. (I still love you Sarah).

This week my goal is honesty. I haven't been honest with myself and my diet. I know I can workout but my self control around food is out of hand. I will write down and measure EVERYTHING that goes into my mouth! I will use my online weight watchers AND myfitnesspal to help me keep track of calories and points! I will go to the Tuesday WW meeting since I have avoided facing a close to ten pound jump since the last weigh in, yes nearly ten pounds have found their way back onto my body. I know that there are some hormonal things going on in my body that may have some play in the weight gain but, I have to be honest with myself, I'm not truthfully recording my food.

I know that this week is going to be a bit more stressful, I need to get a lot of work done in the classroom, family pictures and running to prepare for the half marathon on Saturday. I just have to remind myself that I CAN do this, I can maintain self control despite an increase in life stress. I love all aspects of my life; job, family, friends and am working on 'self. I can't hide from my problems and will face them all head on with new enthusiasm. I am grateful for the opportunities I will face allowing me to grow as a person (spiritually & emotionally, not physically, I hope).  ;)

** Update** I forgot to add that I was also blessed enough to be added to a group of great women trying to lose weight and hold each other accountable. Now I'm also asked to share my daily food journal, exercise and gratitude with this group! Below I have a pictures that I shared today of what I ate (the good and bad) and a picture of me planking with two of my kiddos.