How to gain 8 pounds in 2 weeks with NO MAGIC PILL! ;)

Yep, it finally happened. I took a giant leap backward in my weight loss journey. I have not only seen the scale change but my pants are all getting tight.
Here are my helpful (insert sarcasm) hints in gaining back your weight:

1) Allow stress to consume your thoughts- morning, noon, and night... think about how many things you need to do and how little time you have to do them.
2) Remain negative- if someone gives you a complement, shrug it off and remember that you feel like the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man. Make sure to not focus on the positive.

3) Eat EVERYTHING! If it looks good, eat it, if it doesn't look good, try it, if you think it will help with your stress, eat it.
4) STOP working out and teaching classes- make sure to become SOO busy (some of which can be accomplished by simply being a teacher at the end of the school year with children in cub scouts, soccer and baseball) that there is absolutely no way to work out or take care of yourself!
5) Be angry; at yourself, at others, both...
6) Isolate yourself; it's easier to mope by yourself, pity party for one?!

7) Don't record any of your food. It's easier to ignore the crazy amount of food you ate when you don't see the calories that go along with it.
8)When your pants get tight, switch to yoga and jogging pants... those things will fit for a LOT longer!
9) Reintroduce alcohol into your diet. It numbs your senses and allows you to eat more, guilt free!?!