Make Each Day Count

I woke up this morning and felt an energy that I haven't felt in a very long time. I can't explain it other than it's like a weight lifted and great clarity.

This week I did very well with exercise but still struggled with evening snacking. Actually, snacking doesn't even begin to describe most evenings... gluttony is a much better term for what occurs each evening when I return home. The stress of the day combined with running the kids around and realizing I still have house work and school work left to do. It makes the part of my brain that thinks reasonably shut down. It's almost like I feel I "earned" the extra food and that it will bring me a sense of calm that really never comes but is instead replaced with guilt and frustration. Each day is the same cycle of starting the day with good intentions, doing well at lunch, and slowly

After waking up this morning, I went to spin class. While riding, I had this moment that was a mix of joy, coherence, understanding and deja vu. I realized that I still had the same will power and determination that existed a little more than a year ago, it had been pushed back and covered with doubt, fear, stress, and self pity.

My mission this day forward is to find that former self, the one that knew she didn't have to rely on food for comfort. To find that person who woke up each morning ready to face the day head on. I know that person is still there. I will remind myself that I've done this before, I've said no to unnecessary food, worked my butt off everyday, denied myself food and beverages knowing they would only cause guilt later. I will no longer allow myself to be controlled by emotions, food, etc. It's time to make each day count!

Becoming the trainer I need & want

After two months of some crazy stress and eating, my doctor(s) and I have come up with some culprits. The big one is a new medicine I was put on... wait for it... two months ago. Shockingly, one of the main side effects is increased appetite/ weight gain!? Needless to say, I am officially off said medicine effective immediately. :)

My next step was spending the day contemplating how to get back on track since I feel so completely off. I was perusing my fb feeder wall when I stumbled across Oxygen 90 day challenge. The first thing I noticed was the cost and then was thinking about all the money I've spent in the past decade plus then I watched the videos that the two trainers made to promote their challenge. As I watched all I kept thinking is THAT could be me, not the bodies per say, but I could be training others in how to eat and train... I have ALL the knowledge. Why spend more money to listen to someone explain to me the things that I have already read in several books, heard from many mentors, and learned from years of experience. I know what works for me, why not tell others and remind myself and capture my journey, for those interested, as I progress along the way.

I haven't worked out all the details and I am starting my family trip this week BUT I am going to start tomorrow. I am going to write up what I'm eating for the day, what I'm doing to workout (detailed plans for those needing a plan to follow), and perhaps some motivational videos here and there to give everyone a good LOL!

I will be brutally honest and post my before pics and measurements tomorrow. I know that it may be rough with a family trip and then a move to Sioux Falls but everyone has life stresses and, optimistically, I will relate to somebody out there that is having similar trials in their life and we can get through it together!

Here's to tomorrow and my new adventures of Katie-isms!

Is this sustainable?

While squeezing in a quick run this evening, I had the passing thought, is this lifestyle sustainable?

My husband and I are both on this journey for healthy living and I have to say without his support pushing me to do my best I am not so sure that I could say yes. We have completely transformed our lives; we don't go on gas station runs for late night snack cravings, we don't have potato chips and other junk food in the house, we have a constant supply of fruits and veggies to munch on, James gets up most mornings to run, I go most evenings to a class or on a run, we sign up and look forward to races... it's all great but I have the nagging feeling in the far reaches of my mind haunting me with habits of the past. How easy would it be to stop working out and to start watching mindless T.V. like I used to do or to sit and eat my stress away?!?

I am SO close to my goal and now I have the fear creeping in, I've been this close before and slowly gained it all back... slipped right back into old, unhealthy habits. I know that this fear will always be there but I have to decide whether I am going to cave into this feeling or to utilize this fear to push me forward to not only meet my goal but to also maintain!

How do I know I can do this? The only certainty in life (other than eventual death & taxes) is that there is no certainty. However, I can make sure the cards are stacked in my favor. I have a support system in my family, my kids and husband are supportive and participants in this healthy lifestyle. I have successfully completely my instructor certificates for yoga, step aerobics, and cycling which means that I will be teaching classes and have people that look to me for support and advise. I have this blog of my journey with numerous followers that have messaged me their support, their own personal triumphs, and seeking advise... if I start to turn back to my former unhealthy habits, I will not only be letting myself down, I will also be letting my "team" of people down.

That was just the self pep talk I needed and hopefully will encourage some of you. Know that it is possible, it is a lot of hard work but with enough self determination, faith, and support WE can do it!

A Week Without A Scale

I know for some it may seem like a small feat however, for me, a week without a scale was an overwhelming obstacle in my weight loss journey. I know that you are not supposed to weigh yourself daily and I have gone days here and there without weighing myself, but I use it as a gauge to determine how the day before went and if I need to work extra hard to make up for bad decisions the day before.

This week I went to Spearfish (BHSU) for Geometry Camp (professional development). I was worried about how I would handle not being able to plan my meals, I was eating at their dining hall, and sitting in a classroom for 8 hours everyday. I brought along my running shoes and some fitness bands as well as some fruit & healthy snacks to help. The temptations were abound, BHSU has a great variety of tasty foods including a Mongolian Grill, Burger Bar, Pizza Line, Homemade Delicacies, and Dessert Counter. I used all the will power I had and stuck to the Salad Bar and Wrap Counter and loaded up on as many veggies as I could to deter myself from those other amazing foods. I believe that not having a scale and not knowing if the day before had affected my weight made me more mindful of my food choices. I was more adamant about recording my food on WW and on Myfitnesspal since those were the only tools I had to keep me "in control."

The absence of the scale and beautiful Black Hills also motivated me to get outside and be active. A typical day consists of doing some kind of workout but if the scale reflects no change or an increase I will usually amp up my workout. Since I didn't have that tool, I looked at everyday as a day to push myself. I ran the exquisite trails that weave throughout Spearfish, following the creek. I also utilized the campus fitness center when the weather wasn't as cooperative. My best workout came on my solo journey to Spearfish Canyon one evening. After a very scenic drive, I arrived at The Lodge which consists of beautiful trails. The first one was a hefty hike 1000 feet up. All my squats and lunges really paid off as I set off on the steep incline reaching a peak overlooking the canyon. The second trail lead to an amazing waterfall (pictures from both posted below). I have to say, I LOVE hiking and wish I could do do it more often!

The results of my week: 2 more pounds gone forever, 1 pound away from being in my BMI range, some much needed time by myself, and new friendships made through my Geometry Camp. I was fortunate to meet some wonderful people this week and to overcome challenges that this week presented to me. All and all a great week but I'm also very grateful for the coming week and spending quality time with my family and being a mom! :)

Sprain on my parade...

Sunday was awesome, I was so happy to have been able to run six miles... unfortunately, I don't think my body was completely ready. My muscles are not sore, but by Wednesday I was feeling pain in my foot. I went in this morning and was praying that it wasn't broken. Fortunately, the PA couldn't find any breaks but she did say it was badly sprained and I had to take it easy (no running) for at least a week. I am more than grateful that it isn't broken but less than thrilled about having to take it easy... and what does that really mean anyway? I have to move around the house and take care of my kiddos and I have to clean up and organize my classroom for end of the year checkout. I guess I'll just have to scale back on all of my extras and pray for speedy recovery?

I did HORRIBLY this week, I'm talking over eating every evening and giving up on tracking points almost the second I walked through the door after school. I know that it started with all the graduations last weekend and as I watched the scale take a hit, my self esteem did too... and as my self esteem took a hit it became easier to give up plus the added stress of last week of school paperwork, cleanup, etc.... it was kind of like my week was set up to destroy any progress I had hoped to make.

So where do I go from here? Past experiences keep surfacing to my mind and saying, "Give up,  you can't do it," "This is your body's way of saying you aren't strong enough," "It's easier to be sedentary!"

It would be really easy to say I'm done, I tried and failed, and move on but no, I just can't throw in the towel. I have to take this opportunity to prove to myself how important these changes have been to me and how much better they have made me become as a person. If I give up, I am showing my kids that it's okay to call it quits when the going gets tough. Instead, I will "take it easy" for a week and only go to spinning and weight lifting, I won't do any weight baring activities other than the normal day to day stuff and I will take care of my foot (ice, elevate, rest) as much as possible. I will also amp up my efforts in my diet, no more fluffing it or estimating that... I have to be more strict than normal to make up for the lack of cardio.

After this week I will restart my half marathon training and body sculpting efforts in a slow progression, no jumping into a six mile run! I will make sure to give myself 'rest' days and become a healthy food guru for me and my family. I am excited at this chance to learn from the challenges I've been presented and to grow into a better me. Happy Memorial Day Weekend, Welcome Summer!