Tribulation or Celebration

This evening I had a revelation!

I have been upset since injuring my back a couple weeks ago and had to take a huge step back in my workout routine and also increased my stress eating (regrettably). My weight loss challenge at the Y ends in a little over a week and I have about 6 more pounds to lose. I've been beating myself up over it for awhile and then had a light bulb moment today.

Here I am trying to not lose my $50 and to make my goal weight when I have SOO many more important things that I could be celebrating! I have never been in this good of shape, I feel great (other than a few aches and pains), I fit into clothes that I never imagined wearing. I went from XL to S and 14 to 4, so why am I still struggling to embrace my success? Why do I have to keep pushing myself to the next level?

I believe it's completely based on fear. I am terrified that if I don't continue to reach for the next goal that I will revert to prior habits and slowly, but surely, gain every ounce back and return to every unhealthy habit. How can I get past this overwhelming trepidation? 

The answer has been calling to me for the past two weeks.... giving it to God. In the past two weeks I have been to Mass several times and read scripture with my fifth graders as well as some on my own. I always listen for meaning and heard several times words of fasting and having inner strength. I still hold strong that those words were for me but today I also reflected and realized that He's been trying to tell me to give all my worries up to Him. Not an easy task, but I've decided that I need to try my best and allow myself to revel in this success knowing that I have been on this path long enough that I have created habits that will not be easily broken. 

I will keep my goal weight but will not stress about trying to get there in the next week. This month and a half has been rough, unforeseen circumstances that were out of my control. I have learned that this journey is not a sprint, it's a marathon and I am in it for the long haul. I will NOT stress about possibly/ probably failing this weight loss challenge but, instead, will be grateful that it allowed me to take another step into my future of a healthier lifestyle.

For now, I give my worries to God and will enjoy the weekend with my beautiful, healthy family!